great-ocean-road-9Why is pragmatism the best approach? Goals are the driving factor.

Preconceived beliefs about relationships plague most marriages, leaving little opportunity for change in the process.

One of the biggest life lessons that we had rather learn soon is that someone who is unwilling to do something will not do it spontaneously, and the execution will not be flawless.

It is therefore more efficient to act and find alternatives than trying to force things through one way or the other.

A man, for example, who does not want to take care of his children when he comes home at night will not do it. If he is left alone with them he might plug them in front of Xbox, TV or other screen, feed them out chips and popcorn, he will not do more.

The why and how to change that belong to him. It is his decision.

His wife can point that to him over and over. But if her goal is to have some time off from her children in the evening for an hour or two, she is better off finding help outside. She can either ask her mother, a friend, or pay for a babysitter.

This will have a greater impact on him than any amount of complaints.

In the case she is worried that he does not have the bonding she wished he had with their children, she should ask herself how much space she has left him from the beginning in parenting their kids. So many women complain about having no help from their partner when it comes to parenting duties, when they were the first ones to chase him away.

Men do not parent their children the way women do. There is nothing wrong with that if we give up the idea that things should be a certain way.