Majestic treeWhenever tensions arise, pressure builds up. Even if communication is still fluid, tensions act as a toll more or less expensive according to each individual. Ignoring that pressure can cost dearly in the long run because the fire of anger is ready to kindle again. The first trigger will be the good one. Pressure then becomes a fuel that exacerbates whatever feeling is at stake.

Releasing the pressure at your first opportunity should be the priority.


  1. Isolate yourself to be able to reflect: being alone is the only way to calm down. Remember that the pressure build up feeds the interaction you have, and the only way to get back in control of your interaction is first to leave the interaction. Personally I listen to soothing music and stay for five to ten minutes still with my eyes closed.


  1. Use EFT to make sure that your body follows your mind. Your mind has decided to calm down but if you don’t short-circuit the energy disturbance caused by the stress experienced, most likely you will fail to calm down. Learn Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) here.


  1. Remember to see the big picture: very often we argue with our close ones over minor things, important at the time, but insignificant if we take some perspective. The consequences of our arguments however are really detrimental and can hinder the relationship in the long run. Therefore, we should do what it takes to stop any escalation.


This is true with your spouse. This is also true with your teenager. An argument is a battle with no winner.