Jane from London shared with me that she would love to have more sex with her husband.

Although it seems that the vast majority of complaints goes the other way, it happens sometimes that the woman is the one asking for more sex in the relationship.

I believe however that this is more common than it seems, especially today.

As men work harder and longer hours, they are less likely to have a strong libido. Time is missing. They are all in their brain and/or on their mobile phone, if not on their computer.

And sex is the last thing on their priority list.

These men do not necessarily lack testosterone. What is missing however is empathy and observation.

Many women are perfectly happy with no sexuality. Reality though is this for most women: better no sex than sex as a duty.

As I believe that some kind of physical intimacy is an important factor for a fulfilling relationship, no sexual intercourse should be addressed.

What matters there is not so much sex than the desire behind. Being desired always triggers good feelings. For a woman in particular it is a confirmation that she is desirable.

So what can be done?

  1. Find the cause of your husband’s distraction: he can be lost in his dreams, in his worries, in his work. Whatever it is, you will do him a great favor to bring back balance in his life.
  2. Once you have found the cause, talk with him to find a time on a regular basis when he drops everything to be available for you. And let him know that you would love to have more sex with him. I have yet to meet the man who will not love that.
  3. Take the initiative. Be loving and caressing. Most likely it won’t take much for him to be ready. If you have a problem with the fact that you always initiate, work on your beliefs using EFT. There is no rule that says that it is wrong for a woman to start things of.