Thank you Tracy from San Francisco for your email stating that most of your conversations with your husband are your daily life and its tasks. It annoys you because most of the time you would like to take care of things in advance so evenings can leave room for other conversations. And you feel that your husband has no energy for other conversations. You would love more romance.

Please know that men and women view tasks differently, especially when it comes with anything to do with their private life. For most men what concerns their private is secondary unless it is urgent. Urgency makes them move, and then they usually move quickly and efficiently. Until urgency is created, procrastination sits in.

Women view all tasks related to their private life as a weight on their shoulder. So the quicker things are dealt with the better.

Knowing the above most conversations between a man and a woman over admin tasks whether it is related to the house, the kids, food, or money are prone to take place in a stormy atmosphere. Let me explain: she will try to address everything that comes to her mind. Among all these things he will unconsciously give a distracted answer on all subjects that he does not consider urgent. She feels it and depending on whether she will insist or not, her stress level will rise quickly. Her frustration is perceived but not understood. So he tries to end the conversation as quickly as possible and solve the urgent with the efficiency most men have. At the end neither of them is closer to the other, on the contrary, they both have in the back of their head the feeling that they are really difficult to talk to one another.

When you add the fact that most of these conversations take place in the evening when both are tired, you understand how explosive these conversations can be.

Here is what I suggest:

Ladies, write him an email each time you have something that you have to do but need his opinion for it. Two benefits: one, you will feel better because you have done something about it so there is less weight on your shoulders. Two he is more likely to respond because you were necessarily more to the fact and your email is not emotional, unlike your tone when you ask him about something for the third time.

90% of what I call admin is dealt successfully via email with my husband. Sometimes I simply remind him that I need his reply and usually within 48h I get the information I need to proceed.

The only way to find your way through life today is to be organized: little tricks like this increase your efficiency and leaves room for other , fun interaction!