Do you remember your twenties when you giggled with your friends and spend hours together talking? Of course you had other things going on, school, college, boyfriend. But not one day would have passed without you sharing with a few selected the events or no events of that day.
Then it was important. These friendships were priority.
And you were so right to think so.
More than men, women need to get together and share time and talks. The overwhelming male ruling policy has slowly but surely isolated women. It is striking to me to see how difficult it is for women to keep their connections.
The need to share is hormonal: the more women get together and share some time, the lower is their stress level. Therefore men should encourage that as much as possible.
Why then is it so difficult for women to connect with their friends on a regular basis?
I see three main reasons for this.
Lack of time
Lack of trust
General contempt over women’s conversations
Increasingly, women’s days are filled in such a way that there is no room for anything else than the “Havetos”. The Havetos is a word of my own creation to describe the chosen activities we all have today.
The Havetos are falsely chosen, they obey to other rules, social rules, trend rules. Women much more than men follow blindly the Havetos’ schedule even if it takes medication for them to cope with their day.
Unfortunately, among the Havetos, there are no girlfriends’ gatherings.
These are optional, hence rarely in place. And I am not talking about the moms’ gatherings with several kids around, where most, if not all conversations revolve around … children and parenting.
We, women, need two or three good friends with whom we feel comfortable to talk to, freely. I will go in further details on the reason behind this need.
And the truth is that when you have kids or a job, or both, you already don’t have enough time for yourself. So what all or most women who still have a good friend or two do, is steal a few minutes over the phone that end up being a good half an hour if not more, to their daily routine. This way, this phone call leads to guilt if not conflict because it delayed this or that.
I am no exception in this.
True time together will never be replaced by a phone call here and there no matter how long it is. For me it is a problem in fact, as most of my friends live very far from me. But I make a point in seeing my local friends because I know that not only it nurtures our relationship but it also lowers my stress level.
Even if my schedule is tight like everyone else, female gatherings are something I do not overlook. My priority is always to do everything I can to lower my stress level… without medication!
Check part 2 for more…