I know how boring that introduction may seem but read further because this example might end what you, gentlemen, perceive as nagging and you, ladies, perceive as carelessness.
If you have ever cleaned a dishwasher filter, you know how annoying that is. Usually the one who does that is a woman…because she cares about the extra wash!
It happened to me over the week-end; and the longer it takes to remove all the dirt from the filter the more annoyed I was and the most likely I was to be nagging my family about it.
As it took me a good ten minutes, I had left the nagging stage and I was close to the screaming stage. “Why on earth nobody cares rinsing these plates properly!?”
You can’t do a proper job when you are angry so I had to calm down before I could finish cleaning it up. And while I was finalizing the cleaning process came the idea of this post.
If you put things rationally, men and women both want their dishwasher to work properly. If ladies understand and respond to cleanliness men understand money.
So instead of saying “can you please rinse your plate properly before you put it into the dishwasher”, just say “this dishwasher will not work for long if the filter gets charged like this.” Believe me dishwasher-not-work-for-long will catch his attention and the perspective of sparing the cost of a dishwasher is a motivation to solve the problem.
Now ladies, be patient, let them solve the problem. You can be sure that he will come up with the idea of rinsing well the plates and he will surely do so.
If you think this is ridiculous because it would be much faster to tell him directly to do so, well imagine the torture you are putting him through when you want him to listen to your concerns and you are not expecting any solution from him. Know that in the first two minutes of your speech he has found a solution for you. It takes him a huge amount of energy to hold it. And if he is able to listen to you for ten minutes without injecting his brilliant ideas in, he is either deeply in love or he has a very good understanding of women.
Men love solving problems and have no interest in problems they can’t solve.
In our case, spontaneous reaction would have been to complain after cleaning that filter, because you can be sure that interestingly nobody needs to be in the kitchen when you do that!
If the focus had been on the pain it is to clean up that damn thing, you would have been perceived as nagging at least or as moody at most and he would not have cared more about the rinsing plate thing: the problem for him no longer exists and you need to complain anyway.
Whenever you want results ladies, especially for chores around the house, the job is on your side: you need to think it through a money perspective to make sure you catch his attention. And most likely, he will spontaneously do what you expect.
Most likely comes from the fact that if the cost of a dishwasher is ridiculous to him he will much rather deal with the purchase of a new one. Then you will have to cope with these dirty filters that have the annoying consequences of you having to rewash a good third of your dishes.
Then the best solution for you ladies is to hire someone to do that for you!
Just remember this: Men have no interest in problems they can’t solve.