They have pressure for their kids health, for their children’s manners, for the right pre-school, for the right school, for the homework, for the right activity, for the right parenting technique, for the right friends etc…
It is a 24/7 job that lasts for long. Everywhere you read how wonderful it is, the truth is that it is not always wonderful. It can be draining.
And believe it or not, couple does not go well with children after they are conceived. Children have a true sixth sense to jeopardize any intimacy between their parents; they also perfectly know how to divide to reign.
This is part of their growth, but if parents do not look closely at it, they are quickly overwhelmed in this role that leaves no space for anything else.
Times have changed or should I say, are changing. Children today are not the children we were. We are so scared of traumatizing; of impairing their ability to become this or that, that we are not in control anymore.
My children question and argue every decision made; they want to understand the why even when they are not mature enough to grasp the long-term goal behind it. This is exhausting. From what I’ve seen here or in France or in Asia, we are not the only family where kids are prone to question everything that goes against their own pleasure.
As a result what kind of conversation is left to the parents? Close to none, because when they finally can talk freely, they are too tired to do so.
Time off is necessary for two reasons:
One, it allows you to reconnect with you being a woman and being a man. This is an absolute necessity that might cost you your marriage if you overlook it. If the break is long enough, it allows you to reconnect with your couple. When you are just the two of you, you switch off from this guiding role for a moment, and you can experience the benefits of letting go. Letting go is precisely what mothers in particular don’t do: they are so stressed by their responsibility of being a good mom that they never let go. That puts a huge strain on their overall health and ultimately on their relationship with their life partner.
Second, your children learn that you have a life of your own. It will teach them to respect their own needs when the time comes. They learn the basics of independence and resilience that are two great skills to have throughout life. They also get the opportunity to learn from other adults in a different environment than school. And they might learn things that you would never be able to teach them. Although they love to make you feel guilty when you go away, they treasure that time without parental pressure when they usually have more privileges.
Last but not least, both children and parents will appreciate their blessings of being one family even more than they ever did before. Family ties are never stronger than when parents deeply love each other.
And this love will not fall from the sky; you need to be proactive in nurturing it!