Are they really complex?
Women are exceptional!
What makes them so complex also makes them so precious.
The best way to understand this complex being is to analyze through two characteristics unique to any woman:
- bundle of fluctuating hormones meant to prepare a body for pregnancy every month,
- and the body itself with one additional opening barely protected.
It is essential to realize that a woman’s mind is closely influenced by these two factors.
Hormones fluctuating cause all sorts of mood swings totally out of control of her will power.
And these openings in the body barely protected affect the sense of safety and cleanliness at a deep level.
Let’s talk about hormones to start with. If men had the slightest idea about what it is to go through a cycle of hormones ballet the way we do every month, there would definitely be less conflict.
What makes it difficult is that our male dominated world has leveled everything according to a male view. So characteristics that are unknown to men are not welcome. This is especially true when these characteristics affect the rhythm, the pace of life.
Men’s hormones are not totally stable either: in fact they are highly sensitive to the stress level a man has. But the cycle men go through is wide enough to be simply overlooked. The monthly rhythm all women know is unknown to men.
For the past thirty years, women have infiltrated the male dominated business world, by masking and overlooking the female cyclical characteristics. They have felt the need to be like men in order to be both respected and listened to in the work place. The problem is that this is not sustainable in the long run. Women wrongly blame men for their disconnection with themselves, but we, women, know what we need, no one does better than us.
Energy level for any woman is subject to a cycle following a sinusoid. The bottom of the sinusoid is the menstruation: energy is dedicated to this cleansing process and it is normal to feel lower during that time.
As the work place has become more demanding for everybody, women can’t allow themselves to feel and respect this cycle, and they cope by engaging their adrenal system in raising their stress level. Over time, mind and body start aching from this disrespect and soon aches and pain plague the body, and depression and hysteria plague the mind.
This is particularly true when a woman has gone through pregnancy and delivery of a baby. It takes nine months for the body to conceive and have a baby ready for external life, and nobody finds it strange that a woman is expected to be back to her original state in less than three months. Nature’s laws are consistent. Common sense would rule that if something takes nine months to be created, the “undoing” should not take less time.
We make here the same mistake we make with medical treatments: we take action on the symptoms when they start bothering us, ignoring the fact that the symptoms are the tip of the iceberg that has been built over a long period of time. Relieving the symptoms not only gives a false sense of health, but it in fact hinders the access to true health, because it disconnects us with the warning the body gives.
If your foot hurts, spontaneously you will stand and walk less to decrease the pain. By taking pain medication you carry on your usual activity forgetting your foot and its call for rest. Eventually the inflammation gets worse, the body learns to compensate by requiring additional work from your other foot, knee and hips, and you end up with pain on both sides requiring more medication. The vicious cycle has started.
I am not saying that pain-killing medication should be avoided at all costs as I well know that they are sometimes necessary to keep us sane. I just think it should not be a reflex just like fever medication is given at the slightest fever. Fever, cough, pain are signals that there is something wrong. It is better to take care of what is wrong before suppressing the symptom because most likely symptoms will cease by themselves once the root cause is taken care of.
What happens with women is not any different. Although birth control is a major step in freeing women, birth control pills in particular, have disconnected women with their true self, artificially creating cycles that depend on artificial chemicals.
The side effects of these pills go far beyond breast tenderness or other nodules, they wreak havoc your fragile super sensitive hormonal system, affecting your mood as well. And mood and hormones are similar to the chicken or the egg causality dilemma: which came first therefore causing the other to exist? Here again a vicious cycle is initiated.
Do you know how sensitive and intuitive the hormonal system of a woman is? If you have the opportunity to live this experience, you will be stunned to see that it is true: if several women live under the same roof, if they are free of any type of medication regulating their hormonal system, their menstruation will come at the same time of the month within a few months.
That means that women are connected to one another to an extent we don’t initially suspect.
In addition, it means that the usual need of withdrawal we all have when we have our period, should not be interpreted as we need to be left alone. We are just meant to be with other women during that time with whom our energy level will resonate. Physically we are also meant to keep any male at a distant at that time, so whether we like it or not, it is not going to be the time we can be nice and understanding with our male partner.
The fact that a majority of women uses birth control pills though changes the dynamic because everything is then artificial. It screens out all sensitivity to body signals.
Women connect through their body. Their body sensitivity is the antenna that places them in tune with the universe, with the unseen.
The extraordinary ability all women have to perceive the unseen and sense any danger way before it happens, should not be ignored the way it has been so far. They are receptors for a wisdom that goes way beyond all human beings. They are this connection between the past and the future. They should be listened to, because they know things without knowing how they know them. It is hard for us to trust that intuition that has been ridiculed, and despised for a long time.
But it only takes for us to decide to listen to and trust what we hear and feel; and with practice it will be spontaneous. What men do not realize is that with you, ladies, they have a super sensitive scanner, antenna, radar, at their disposal.
Women perfectly complement men, being able to put things in perspective for them in a way they don’t have access to.
Another typical characteristic that has many consequences is that we have more unprotected holes, so to speak, than men. It might not be the best way to phrase that but you see what I mean. We have three holes down there that need our constant attention.
We all attend to these parts so unconsciously that we forget how unique and important they are in our day. First, let’s be honest, we need to urinate more: unlike men we have nothing that stops gravity law to apply when our smaller bladder is full. Hence we go to the bathroom more often…and we stay longer. Yes, gentlemen, we have nothing to shake and here we go! By the way, this is truly disgusting for a woman. Necessarily Ladies take more time to go to the bathroom, and bathroom’s cleanliness is important.
We need to be cleaner because of the risk of bacteria and other viruses entering our body through these holes. This is one of the reasons why women are more prone to urine infection than men. I don’t want to do 2 cents psychology but by extension, her house is treated as her body. So next time guys, she fusses around about tidiness and cleanliness, be nice: she needs that cleanliness to feel comfortable. So do it for her.
In this modern life when free time is so scarce, when pace is full speed, well, those needs are stressful! Women are therefore more stressed than men just because of that!
So many women cope with their life taking anti depressants. This is the sign that something goes deeply wrong don’t you think?
What if instead, women reconnected with their body, enjoying massages on a regular basis, connecting with girlfriends regularly, and taking time of? Do we all have to turn to religion to have one day of a week respected and not questioned? How long will it take before we understand that the alternating night and day is here for a reason in our system?
In this world of one-size-fits-all, dominated by immediate satisfaction of desires in children, and by multitasking beyond human processing capabilities, it is time to get back to some kind of rhythm starting with ourselves.
It won’t change women’s efficiency at work: if they feel they make a difference, they will never take advantage of the flexibility that allows them to respect their rhythm.
If you look closely, most women are astonishingly efficient and proactive. That will not change.
The question is then how to balance our hormones so we stay tuned in our wisdom, and we don’t feel like a yoyo all the time with one day in tears and one day euphoric. Men would complain that they don’t see much the euphoria: very often excited form of hysteria has replaced euphoria.
As you probably know, there is not one answer to this. The best first step I believe is to have your hormones checked to assess the situation. Don’t forget to have your testosterone checked as well, because, even if we don’t need much, it plays a major role in our interest in the sex games.
All long-term couples need to check that all hormones are in order if they want to have any sex life at all. Except for stress and food men’s hormones, are fairly stable. Women’s hormones however are disrupted very easily. It is frequent that women after pregnancy have trouble getting back to a normal hormonal cycle.
Just a quick emphasis on pregnancy: this is a major disrupter totally overlooked by the medical staff after delivery. For them, as long as you have been able to have sex without pain within six weeks after delivery you are good to go. And we wonder why so many mothers know post partum depression. That will be the subject of another post though.
The next step would be to look at what you eat and make sure you are well informed on the hidden estrogen within your food. (soy and meat in particular)
Another step is to make sure fluids keep moving within your body. Hydration is of course a key factor. Massages are also a fantastic way to help blood circulation in addition to being deeply relaxing. If done gently with superficial strokes they even help the so precious lymphatic system.
Last but not least work on your mood: the more you do the things you love, the more you read inspiring books, novels, you listen to music, the less likely you will maintain a vicious cycle.
We should never forget that our body is the precious home for the soul. We must nurture it, take care of it, and respect it. And it will serve us well.